Making Spirits Bright

When you ask for charity in your heart, you will be provided with opportunity to abide.

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One of my favorite moments in A Christmas Carol is when Charles Dickens writes that Ebenezer Scrooge carried Christmas in his heart all the year long. There is truly something wonder-filled at the thought of doing that; making the whole year the Season of Giving.

So this year I thought why not do that! Keep Christmas, or as I thought to myself, charity, in my heart all year long. I began this of course just around the Christmas season.

I thought of old Scrooge just after he awakens, realizing he has a second chance. I though about how he made sure Tiny Tim didn’t suffer in the way he’d seen traumatically just hours before from the Ghost of Christmas Past. I thought of Alastair Sim playing Scrooge, making the the housekeep flip her apron up over her head in fear from what she surmised was Scrooge going stark raving mad. Yeah! I want to be like that!

So I began.

As I shopped for gifts, picking up this and that as stocking stuffers, I thought of my neighbor, Belinda, who has been so kind and how I wanted to give her something this year. So I picked up some organic teas and bath bombs. I thought how hard she worked and perhaps she’d like a relaxing theme.

Of course at this time of year I cannot help shopping for myself too. (Let’s call that self-charity.) I found this silly little red coffee tumbler that said: “Making Spirits Bright.”

You know how you can just, for no reason at all, fall in love with a thing? That’s what this moment was. I felt that tumbler just “got” me. I like to think of myself as making spirits bright. This tumbler was made for me! The dopamine was soaring within me. I put it in my basket, bought it, brought it home and stuffed it in the closet with all the other gifts I’d bought until the time came to bring it all out and wrap it up.

The day for gift wrapping came. I pulled out several bags, rediscovering many gifts I’d forgot I’d gotten.

I found a pretty little bag for Belinda. I pulled out the colorful teas, the bath bombs etc. While doing so I rediscovered my “Making Spirits Bright” coffee tumbler!

Just holding it made me feel a spark of elation and another hit of that happy hormone drug within.

I continued to wrap - when it happened. That still small voice from within.

That tumbler is for Belinda.

I ignored the still small voice within. (I didn’t hear it really.)

That tumbler is for Be-lin-da.

My body tensed. Harumph.

Ahem…That TUMBLER- - -

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” I whined aloud to myself like a two year old just being told she could not play with the kitchen knife.

I didn’t hear that. I made it up.

I arranged the bag and sought another treasure I might have bought that would be a nice addition that was not the “Making Spirits Bright” tumbler.

My heart felt like it was squeezing itself.

I went downstairs to do something (anything) else. It’s a busy day. I can do this later.

But I couldn’t because that still small voice only remains still and small as long as you are obeying it. Then you get swallowed by a whale.

I trotted back upstairs. I thought, “I’ll do a trial re-bagging. Just to see if it fits inside.”

It fit perfectly.

Not only that, it all made sense: Some organic teas, a Christmasy tumbler and some bath bombs. Relax honey, it’s been rough year. Let’s make your spirits bright. Yeah, perfect.

I took the tumbler back out of the bag…just to see if it was that big a deal, if it made any difference, if that tug and pull went away.

Nope.

That’s when I remembered (or was reminded of) Ebenezer and my big idea about the whole charity thing.

Well, shit.

The tumbler went back in the bag.

I wrapped it up super pretty and sort of sulked away.

I do love a cheerful giver.

Sheesh, God! I’m doing my best over here. Way to rub it in.

Why the heck did I like it so much and why was this such a challenge? It’s. a. THING. And how shallow am I that I’m having this long a conversation about it with heaven?

You prayed for charity in your heart. You didn’t ask me for charity in your heart when you felt like it.

<crickets>

I swooped up the bag, walked it next door (happily and joyfully), knocked, and ran away like I was ten years old just because it’s fun.

Later than evening as I scrolled Facebook I saw a picture of a familiar tumbler, some tea and bath bombs lovingly displayed for all to see and an appreciate note about her neighbor.

Sometimes we’re Scrooges with a big “S” or a little “s”. It’s nice to have a merciful God who teaches us through the little lessons so when the big ones come, we have more muscle…and perhaps avert having to smoke ourselves out of Moby Dick.

Honestly writing this story, I feel like such a shallow wench. Can you imagine how Scrooge felt?

Later I shared this story (as I do so many) with a close friend who thought it was all hysterical. (I’m grateful she thought me funny and not with a heart the equivalent of a plastic fern.)

A few weeks after Christmas, an unexpected package arrived in the mail.

Can you guess what it was?

I hope that whatever it is that you are working on or working toward this year, you try hard to obey that still small voice. Do your best to adhere to that pull or squeeze.

Whether you get it right or not, you’ll be rewarded (one way or another) for trying.

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