When Things Go Right

Realizing what that actually looks like.

When Things Go Right

Sometimes things take a hard turn right. I mean right as in - it feels right.

When my husband and I got married we took Pre-Cana. It’s a course that the Catholic Church offers engaged couples, led by married couples.

I have to be honest. I don’t remember much about it. Maybe because it was eleven years ago. Maybe because in the excitement of getting married, the wedding, the festivities… doing a worksheet on how we’d spend our money doesn’t sit in the forefront of my memory. (Though it should!)

But I do remember one specific moment. And it came rushing back to me on this particular day - and week - as I write this.

There was a couple who’d been married for some time. Their children were grown and they had much to share. They were an everyday middle class couple, (which is what you want to see and experience as a future newlywed), that had regular everyday ups and downs to share about their marriage.

I remember them talking about their early years when the children were young. I seem to remember they had quite the brood. They didn’t have a lot of money. And at one point they were all living in a one bedroom house. They struggled. A lot. Money was tight.

And then the wife said something I have never forgotten. (I might have ignored throughout the years, but I have never forgotten it.) She was talking about coming across people here and there who, to get to the point, essentially judged them for their lifestyle. Asking questions pointedly about how they survive in such a small home with such a big family, touching on the reality of how others viewed them and what they’d say.

Then she said the thing.

She told us she’d just look at these critics and simply say calmly, “we’re happy.”

End of sentence. End of conversation. And she spoke of how that would basically shut the judgement down.

Because they were happy. She wasn’t lying. Did they have struggles? Who doesn’t. That’s marriage. You might have affluence or not. But at some point you’re going to struggle. And the last thing you need is someone judging you about it.

“We’re happy.”

Why am I telling you this…?