Dancing With A Dodo
With Whom (or What) Are You Partnering?
Dancing With A Dodo
Do you remember in grade school when your teacher told you to “get a partner” or “get a buddy”? Did your teacher ever ask you a question and waited patiently while you hemmed and hawed, fidgeted, felt scared, and fell silent?
Years ago, as I assisted in an after-school program for theatre, there were roughly seventy-five students being corralled for song, dance, and theatrical fun while Mom and Dad could get home from work. This particular teacher (genius) asked a young ‘un if she’d like to participate in a particular moment, probably some theatre game… and what did she do? She hemmed, she hawed, she fidgeted… yet you could tell her desire (by her smile) was present and willing. Then I heard the teacher offer these words of freedom:
“Would you like some help?”
Oh what a wonderfully sweet and non-invasive question, stealing no thunder or joy, allowing the power of choice to remain with the child, encouraging a stepping out in faith.
A grateful nod of yes followed.
“Okay, choose a friend to help you.” And yet more genius!
So the little one would scan the group, smile, and point or grab a hand and so the creativity would continue.
Did you square dance in grade school? Do they do that anymore? If not, what a tragedy! I suppose my grandmother would have said it was a tragedy I didn’t learn to fox-trot in grade school as well. Oh, but square dancing was filled with joy and partnership.
“Swing yer pardner and do-si-do!” You always had someone who was linking their arm with yours and circling round.
Partnership. Togetherness. Dancing in and out and through and around. And then you went back to your own space.
If you have not yet gathered my thoughts in your little thought basket, I’m musing on partnership and how things just seem to work better when that partnership is in flow.
With Whom (Or What) Do You Partner?
You can partner in life with people, of course. You can also partner with all kinds of things. You can partner with all kinds of thoughts.
I have a new job. I am currently partnering with this job. I chose to partner with it because it came at the right time, with people whose arms I thought would be positive to “link” thinking also about the further arms that might reach out to me, or vice-versa, because of those first links.
So you can partner (or “square dance”) with a new job.
As a creative person I love to partner with my creativity in writing, speaking, performing. When I partner with a Jobby-Job that doesn’t feel creative (and perhaps isn’t meant to be), though the job can be fine one with which to promenade, I can get hooked into thinking thoughts about that job. Thoughts that never had an invitation to the dance.
Yes, you can do-si-do all day with the thoughts and beliefs of your choice. But sometimes… (many times) those thoughts choose you as partner, without your permission.1
That’s no partner. That’s no helper. That’s a thief.
Something You May Not Know You Already Have
A thief is only successful when we aren’t looking or when we are powerless to defend ourselves. So if thoughts are snowing you, slinging mud, distracting you, lying to you, then we have a new issue.
We have an issue of authority. (And down the rabbit hole Alice goes.) This may come as an obvious fact, or it may shake you the core. Allow it to land.
You have complete authority over your soul, spirit, thoughts, and personal space.
In other words, you can leave the dance hall if you so choose.
Let’s go back to my Jobby-Job and my thoughts about that. Now that my honeymoon period with new Jobby-Job is coming to a swift close, my mind and the spirit of schemes that war against my creative spirit enter onto the dance floor. Sometimes when things are rough, the intrusive thoughts really like to call the moves. Instead of a balanced pas de deux (ranch style), I begin to look more like a powerless swinging ragdoll (or mop) amongst the wooden floor and bales of hay.
How Do You Take Authority Back?
In a word.
NO.
See what I just did? I just said NO. Just like that. NO. (I prefer all caps.) Authority over my thoughts and over the health of my spirit doesn’t have to be an eternal drawn-out drama-filled year-long odyssey. (That’s what the spirit of darkness desires.) You see, “NO”, is a complete sentence.2
“No” is a complete sentence.
These things sink in when they will. I say that because there’s an element of my knowing this for quite a while in differing circles but the other day it landed (as it usually does while I’m doing something mundane. In this case simply walking alone from one location to another at the Jobby Job). That’s when it hit, not as a thud, but a simple knowing: you don’t have to partner with this thought, this belief, this thief of the night (during the day) that is, flatly, making you tired. It’s just making you so tired. So stop. And you need no further permission than here and now.
Huh.
What was my thought that day? Oh, speaking of tired… it’s an old and tired and worn out and BORING warped side “B” repetitive piece of utter lying nonsense.
I’m sure you have your version… It’s not necessary to share verbatim but you’ll get the full picture by my simply telling you the intros:
“You’ll never be…”, “This is all you’ll ever do”, “You were supposed to be…”, or “I never thought I’d end up…” All of which speak of dead ends, death, and slammed doors.
Dear sweet reader, my partner in writing, God does not speak to you like that.
And that’s what I realized moving from point A to B. I don’t have to partner with this dodo.
But also the dodo likes to impress up on you a weakness to take authority. (Notice I did not say control – the dodo loooooves control.) I say authority. You have authority much like the CEO of a company to make decisions about procedures. The dodo of the company likes to thieve your authority by snowing you into his dance moves (thoughts) and making you forget you have choices.
So on my walk I remembered that I forgot I had authority.
I don’t have to think those old worn out boring habitual thoughts much less believe them about this new lot in life. I don’t have to dance this dance.
So why do find ourselves on this revolving stage?
The Desire to Partner with the Dodo
Saint Paul says we know what we ought to do but, dang it! We just don’t do it! (Severely paraphrased and emphasized.)3 Why?
Now… let’s talk about the desire to dance with the dodo. The desire to be the swinging mop.
Let’s be honest. Habit is easy. Habit is comfortable. Even when the habit requires hard work. Even so. We like habit. (Should I say “I”? Maybe you like making and sticking with the hard choices. Maybe you’ve got this square dance down.)
We are swayed. We are gullible. We are weak little beings. Does that sound horrible? Well, if we weren’t, would we need conversations like this?
This is when strength of spirit, emotional intelligence, faith, and trust begin a jig.
So my prayer becomes Lord, I have this habit of doing and thinking X… and to be honest… because I can be laaaaazzzzzy in my thoughts, words, and deeds I’ve gotten a juicy payoff by not having to work at loving myself. Because #couchpotatoofthemind. But now I see that that’s hurting me. I’m in a hamster wheel and I want out. (And though I love reading books, getting support, and “going deeper”, I’m really ready to stop asking silent permission to make my own decisions… in other words, taking authority.) I cannot dance this alone. I need a new partner. That’s you. Help me take authority over this and dance anew with you.
And we promenade back to the beginning. “Do you need some help?” Yes. You do. God. Just ask.
After You Stop Dancing With The Dodo
So now that you’ve stopped dancing with the dodo, what then?
TAKE AUTHORITY. (I like to say “in Christ” as in “I am taking authority in Christ over this [fill in the blank] and I will no longer partner with these thoughts leading me to the pits of hell. This is over now. This stops now. NO.) [Wash, rinse, repeat.]
How long? However long it takes. Taking authority over your very soul requires mental and spiritual vigilance.
Which leads me to talk about your very identity and who you think you are (or aren’t). But that’s another story for another Sunday. Suffice to say…
You, in the light of Christ, are no dodo.
You are a masterpiece.4
5 and we tear down every proud idea that raises itself against the knowledge of God. We also capture every thought and make it give up and obey Christ. (2 Cor 10:5)
But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one. (MT 5:37)
15 I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. 16 Now if I do what I do not want, I agree that the law is good. 17 So then it is no longer I that do it, but sin which dwells within me. 18 For I know that nothing good dwells within me, that is, in my flesh. I can will what is right, but I cannot do it. 19 For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do. 20 Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I that do it, but sin which dwells within me. (Romans 7:15-20)
10 For we are God’s masterpiece, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. (Ephesians 2:10)
I love this! Thank you for sharing this reminder! That power of our thoughts vs authority overvour thoughts ,and actions, is real and profound.
So powerful, Fleur. I'll be reading this more than once as well!