When Your Bits & Pieces Are Suspended

And you feel like you're just floating by....

Oh look! There’s my arm…over there just ahead of me about six inches. And if I turn, there’s a shoulder… a leg just out of reach… my stomach (sometimes up, sometimes down) seems to be anywhere but center… my head bobbles… my feet? Swollen. And they hurt. I just want someone to squeeze them.

We’ve been moving for close to two months now. It all started with my thoughts.

Uh oh.

And those thoughts were followed by prayer.

Double uh oh.

Well I shouldn’t say that because sometimes when I pray, I just get a big stop sign or as evidenced by the last two to three years, a “wait” sign. I some —

(I literally just flew off the couch out the door because I thought I heard rain. Not to spoil but we’ve been in Fredericksburg, Texas (where I now call home) for one full drought ridden week. To say it’s hot simply doesn’t mean much anymore. But eggs can fry on the street…if that’s your thing. You know that when your new church prays for rain weekly… you’ve arrived in a new paradigm… So yes, I jumped off the couch interrupting my train of thought (which is in pieces - read title) for the sight of rain.)

It was leaves blowing on the street.

But clouds are here, as well as lightning and the temp has dropped (Yee-Haw!) by at least 15 degrees. (It might even be 90 now.)

Just call me Dorothy.

Ok… pieces… floating… all over.

This is what it has felt like from roughly July 9th to the present. I have had nose to packing tape and moving pods for two months. My brain, body, and mind feels like I’ve been stupefied by Hermione Granger.

One thing I know… find the ground. Find the things that ground and center me when the upheaval of change has descended… regardless of whether it was my choice or someone else’s.

It occurs to me that change is just what it is. Change. And that’s the point of it. I say this because often when we either choose it or it’s been thrust upon us, our first inclination is to do what we can to not feel the effects of said change. So that we can feel safe. But is that the nature of change? To feel the same?

Of course not.

But there are things you can do to find your footing (or your floating feet) that can help navigate the new terrain. (I was going to say waters but there’s not much of that here right now.)

Those are the things, people, and good healthy habits that do not rely on location; that do not depend on schedule necessarily.

Which also reminds me of not solving your problems by a “geographical fix”. You know… if we move here…all my problems will go poof in pixie dust. Nope. That’s because yes, wherever you go, there you are. As Melissa McCarthy says in Bridesmaids to a solipsistic Kristin Wiig, “You are your problem… and you’re also your solution.” Which would kinda encourage said solipsism but hopefully you roughly get my point. That isn’t to say that removing yourself geographically from abusive situations isn’t paramount to the healing process.

None of that had anything to do with my moving to Texas!

But. I told you my bits and pieces were floating so my writing must as well.

I want to go back to the part about grounding yourself with those things that do not rely on location to help you feel at home in a new location or situation.

Guess what I’m not going to say.

I’m not going to say “go out and make new friends.” I mean you can but we’re getting some ground in those things that don’t rely on the new change.

What are the things you’ve always been able to rely on when change was not happening?

For instance, the morning moments of quiet, coffee or tea, a journal, hugging that tree, listening to music.

Prayer.

These things, more or less, do not rely on location. They can always be there for you.

God is always there for you.

Doesn’t matter if he’s picked you up from the Pines and plopped you down in the middle of Mesquites. He’s still there. He leads. He follows.

If you got up in the morning and took a walk there, then take a walk here.

Also. Change is change. So perhaps for the first few weeks there won’t be the walks.

But God is still there. Prayer is still available to you by you for you. Sit. Pray. Listen.

Then ask him to help you put the pieces together again, Humpty.

I was going to tell you why we moved but, as usual, I was led to the most important part. The spiritual bits.

Before I left Yardley, PA, a friend gifted me a sweet framed sign that simply said, “Trust Me”. At the bottom it was signed ~God.

And that’s really the answer to the whole disassembling, isn’t it?

Trust.

Wherever God has led you, He will not leave you. (Ohhh, read that one again!)

Wherever God has led you, He will not leave you.

Not necessarily that He won’t leave you there a while… but He, Himself, will not abandon you or leave you alone there.

For that is the good news. His love is unchanging. Steadfast and firm. Reliable.

So in the change, trust. And trust Him in the change.

Because, Dear, He is doing something beautiful right now in your life. Do not doubt it.

For what He begins… He completes. Sometimes we forget because we imperfect humans can leave things hanging.

But God is God.

(Thank God.)

Why did we move? Maybe I’ll write on that next time. I think for now…(for always) we’ll just remain right here – in trust.

How Philly handles change. Learn from Philly.

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Are you going through changes right now? What helps you feel centered and grounded again amidst the unknown? Please share in the comments. Someone needs to hear it just the way you say it.

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PS. I am so glad to be back on track. One thing that grounds me? Writing. Telling you stories. Sharing spiritual insights. My feet just hit the ground. Thank you for being here.